Blessed Beyond Measure

July 2nd?!

Is it really July 2nd?  Where has the time gone?  I guess we've been having fun, right?!

     We left on June 20th for our annual trip to Nags Head, North Carolina.  Though I thought I might pull my hair out at times it took a bit of adjusting to lift at the beach house with a 2.5 yr old, we had a great time.  The older two enjoy the beach but seem to prefer the pool.  Alayna, on the other hand, is a beach baby.  "Mommy meech, meech, beech, beech.....!"  Can you hear her?  Over and over and over again!!  But this girls not complaining.  I just love hearing her voice! (We celebrated "Christmas in June," hence the antlers and jingle bells ;) 

  My cousin, Trish, and I decided to take home a permanent reminder of our 9th summer at the Outer Banks.  We headed south to Salvo, a little town just past Rodanthe, for my first and Trisha's second tattoo.  And honestly, I was surprised at how calm I was and how disappointed I felt when it was over.  I had a design in mind when I went down there but spent most of the week second-guessing myself.  In the end, I got something pretty close to the picture in my head...the cross for my faith and the flowers for each of my babies :)  It's still healing so I'll put up a picture when it's done scabbing and/or peeling or whatever it's suppose to do!

Alayna's speech therapy is going well.  She's going to see a private therapist twice a week this summer.  We had a glitch with the insurance company but all is well now.  Her therapist is very encouraged by her progress of late and so am I.  Hearing the progress has been very helpful for me, given my last post.  I'm feeling more optimistic these days...thanks for all the comments, emails, hand-smackings and calls of concern.  I just appreciate that I have an avenue for venting when I need too.  Often a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders when I just write something down.  That was certainly the case after my last post.  Me and discouragement aren't talking right now ;)

Oh, I've been meaning to ask...of my 5 (wink, wink) loyal followers who keeping tolerating my long absences from blogging, who is on Faceb**k?  I want to be your friend.  Let me know so that I can find you, K?

David's building a house for his nephew right now and he just finished an addition for a couple in our church family.  He's been home the last few days but he's working today and I think he'll have more work next week.  I'd love for you to continue to pray for work to come his way, though.  And prayers for our home to sell would also be appreciated. Thanks so much!

No big plans for the summer other than a second attempt at a visit to see Tracy...remember this post....and trying to visit with friends that we don't see much during the school year.  I'm hoping to send Kyrsten to a field hockey camp and Troy to another day camp for the last week of July but they are both a bit costly.  It might not be in the budget this year.

I'm also headed to Women of Faith at the end of the month and I'm really looking forward to two days away with "the girls."  The night before we leave for the conference, a group of us are going to see Casting Crowns in concert.  YEAH!  Can't wait.

Alright, I hear the big kids scratching each others eyes out arguing.  Time to go sit on someone(s)!  Talk to me!!!!

Pass It On, Baby!

 

http://passitonbaby.blogspot.com/

Head on over to this site, and make sure you click on the link for first time visitors.

I LOVE the idea!!  I've kind of adopted a special friend at church (hope you don't mind, Andrea) that I've been "passing on" Alayna's clothes too, and I give another friend at work Troy's things....but I am so glad I found this site.  I plan to check it out regularly to see if there's anything that I have that someone else could benefit from.  LOVE IT!!  Check it out!

My beautiful girls are Famous!

Oh My Goodness, Oh My Goodness!

My girls are famous!!

Ok, semi-famous, but famous all the same!

Check this out.... http://nohandsbutours.com/

Recognize anyone???

Oh my goodness, they are so beautiful!! 

Bias, yes.  Wrong, absolutely not!!

Happy Friday...my first day of summer vacation!!

I think you'll be hearing more from me in the next few months :)

Facing Reality?!

I’m sure it seems silly, given all the bad stuff in this world and how much worse things could be, but I’ve really been struggling lately.  I’m upset with myself because no matter how hard I try, I continue to worry. 

I continue to carry this burden when I know that I can just hand it over to my Savior.  It sounds so simple but it’s become a huge challenge for me.  Why can’t I trust Him?  Why do I allow myself to worry and speculate and ponder the “what if’s?”  I pray.  I talk.  I pray some more.  And I feel better for a little bit and then I’m wallowing in it all over again.  And besides just being busy, that is really why you haven’t heard from me lately.  I really didn’t have anything positive to say.  And how ridiculous is that given that I am so very blessed!!

As you know, Alayna is cleft-affected.  She was born with bilateral cleft lip and a submucous cleft palate.  Her lip was repaired in China and her palate was repaired last August after we brought her home.  I remember when we were considering special needs adoption, I thought how silly it was that parents weren’t willing to adopt children that were/are cleft-affected.  I mean, who goes into the Chinese special needs adoption process and doesn’t think that cleft lip and/or palate is a “do-able” special need?  It’s got to be the most common coming out of the Asian countries and its easy peezy to deal with.  Right?

Over the last few months, I’ve come to realize that though the medical intervention may not be the most complicated and the scars might be relatively minor, a momma’s heart can suffer greatly while she watches her baby struggle.  Our daughter is beautiful, her surgeries almost complete, but she is looking down a very long road of communication difficulty and it is breaking this momma’s heart.

While Alayna was still in China, I allowed my mind to go to the worst case scenario, but only for a moment.  I probably spent most of my time thinking positively, praying that her palate would be less involved than had been reported (which it was), and day dreaming about a little girl that would quickly pick up our language and start talking my ear off.  I knew surgery was inevitable.  I knew speech therapy was a possibility.  I knew that our daughter might sound “nasally” as a result of her palate issues.

But I never, not even once, considered that my daughter might never be able to talk. 

And now, as her time with us has grown to over a year, as all of the healing is complete from her palate repair, and after taking her to speech therapy for several months, I am grieving.  I am frustrated.  She is frustrated.  I am sad.  My heart breaks as I allow my mind to imagine my baby entering kindergarten without a voice.  I fight the tears when I picture my daughter in middle school and high school and out in the community without a voice.  I am trying to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may never be able to functionally use her voice to speak more than a few intelligible words and my little momma’s heart is so very sad FOR HER.

This isn’t about me.  This isn’t about how I never pictured myself as a mother to a child with a disability.  This isn’t about how I hadn’t prepared myself to be on the parent side of the IEP table.  It really isn’t.

This really is about Alayna.  I am scared for her.  I am sad for her.  I am struggling because she is struggling.  I don’t want people to think that she is not intelligent because she can’t effectively communicate with them.  I don’t want her abilities and gifts and talents to go unrecognized, unappreciated, unnoticed because all anyone sees is her lack of verbal communication. 

Having worked in special education as long as I have, I know that communication is the key.  It’s the key to education.  It’s the key to success.  It’s the key in social situation.  It’s the key in all situations.  And yes, if my girl isn’t ever able to effectively use her voice to communicate, we will get her the best augmentative communication system on the market and she will shine.  But the life I imagined for her didn’t involve using a computer to speak.  It doesn’t involve pushing buttons and scanning through some device to find the words to express herself. 

Life will be different for her.  Is that all together bad?  Certainly not.  But I’m still struggling, grieving if you will, the possible loss of the freedom she would have to say anything, to do anything, to be anything she sets her mind too.  I love her so much that it breaks my heart to even consider the frustration she is and will continue to face.

I am constantly amazed by this child.  With only a few words and some fantastic gesturing, she has touched so many lives.  You can’t help but smile when you are in her presence.  She is a gift to us all.  And no disability, big or small, will change how much I love her.  I know that God has a plan for her and I know it’s a great one.  But I can’t stop praying that she’ll talk someday.  I can’t stop praying that she’ll start school with a vast and intelligible vocabulary.  My momma heart won’t let go of the dream that she will overcome this delay and learn to speak in wonderfully long sentences.  I pray that someday I will look back on this time in utter amazement, so extremely grateful for her progress and the gift that He has given her.  I pray everyday that my baby will have her own voice!

April 24th, 2009

**update...I just looked at the date again.  One year ago today, Alayna landed on Washington, D.C. soil and became a proud citizen of the great United States of America.  Well, maybe we were more proud than she, but it was a great day all the same!**

The Truth is….

I’m having a terrible time keeping this blog updated because I’m so gosh darn busy keeping my house clean!

I think about my blog several times a day.

Every day I plan to update it.

But every day I come home and more pressing things take priority.

The kids (especially Troy) are crazy busy with schoolwork, and baseball/softball season is officially in full swing.

Alayna keeps us busy and very entertained.  In case you missed that, let me repeat.  Alayna keeps us busy!

This is a busy time of the year at work.  My supervisor is on her way out, due very soon with baby #3, and we have a TON of meetings to plan for and attend on top of our regular responsibilities.

And then there’s THE HOUSE!

Our house is on the market.  And it showed twice in the first week to the same person.  And we were told to expect an offer.  And we (mostly me) sat on pins and needles for a week, waiting, wondering, only to find out that the potential buyer decided our 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom home is just too big for a single man.  Well, duh!  We could have told you that a week ago and I could have stopped looking at rental properties and stressing out our realtor.

Next week, our house is going to be advertised in a very popular media outlet in our area.

Next week, it’s going to be featured at a Broker’s Open House.

Next week, it's going to filmed for a virtual tour which will be available for all to see on the internet.

It’s a lot of work trying to keep the house up to par (according to my standards) and ready to show at any given moment.

And I’m tired. 

I’m excited.

I’m stressed and grouchy, at times.

David says that I'm going overboard in the cleaning department.

I’m quickly becoming a person with Obsessive Compulsive Dis*rder.

And we think we found some property to build on when we sell our house.

I think David is planning to make the owner an offer soon but we would have to stop cleaning, and stop helping the kids with their homework, and stop checking on our sneaky little Alayna, and stop running the kids to ball practices long enough to talk to one another.

We’ve had to start considering house plans because we were expecting an offer on our house.

That’s kind of fun…especially since we agree on most everything to do with wants/needs in our next home.

We got a new refrigerator delivered two weeks ago and it was broken.

Another new one was delivered this morning and neither David or I could be there to deal with it.  His mother had to handle the whole thing.

Oh, and it’s been raining like crazy here.

Lots of rainy days.

Rainy days always get me down!

But this weekend is suppose to be beautiful and verging on HOT!  I can’t wait.

I’m determined to clean my house (some more) but not obsess over it on this gorgeous weekend.

And Alayna is being dedicated at Church on Sunday.

It’s about time.

I can be a real procrastinator.

She's adorable and sassy and an absolute joy to everyone that meets her…She really does shine in His light!

And all that to just say, Sorry I’m not keeping this up-to-date.  I haven’t forgotten about you.  Life is just too busy and too much fun lately to post regularly.

I plan to post some pics this weekend.  Maybe I’ll wait and do it while my girl is napping on Sunday, then I can include some Dedication shots.  We’ll see….don’t hold me to it.  But I’ll try.  Promise!

 

A couple of pics of our home from the internet....in case you know of anyone who is house shopping :) 

Wait...they won't upload.  I'll add them when I get home.

 

 

 

Happy Adoption Day!

http://thefiveofus.typepad.com/our_adoption_journey_to_t/2008/04/tuesday-aprilwh.html

The plan is to write a post later tonight in honor of Alayna's 1 year Adoption Day anniversary.  In the meantime, click on the link above and check out my post from April 15th, 2008.

Wow...have we come a long way!

1 YEAR AGO TODAY!

http://thefiveofus.typepad.com/our_adoption_journey_to_t/2008/04/oh-my-goodness.html

Take a moment...Click on the link above...Look at what we were doing this time last year!!

I can't believe it's been a year since the Chinese officials handed us our baby girl.  It just blows my mind how far we've all come in a year!

Oh my gosh, I just love my baby girl!!

Forgot to tell you

  

I can't believe that I forgot to mention the completion of our LAST hurdle in Alayna's adoption.  Last Wednesday, the girls and I drove 2 hours to our home study agency to complete our 12 month post-placement report with our social worker.  All went well!  It was a great visit!  Long day (4 hours of driving, 1.5 hr visit) but well worth the time and energy so that we can now say "we're officially done!"  In the eyes of our State and CHINA, all paperwork is complete!  No more red-tape or hoops to jump through.  DONE! DONE! DONE! Praise God!

So Sorry!

I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating the blog.  I think F*cebook is bad for my blogging.  I write an occasional something something there and forget all about my blog.  Sorry 'bout that :)

Happy late Easter everyone.  Ours was pretty uneventful.  Church, brunch at church, quick trip to the grocery store for some cheaters pie, and finally 14 family folks for dinner, which I didn't have to contribute to at all.  It was so cold and so windy here that I completely forgot to get pics of the kids and our family in front of the Living Cross at church.  I'm so bummed.  I don't have one single picture of the kids in their Easter outfits.  NICE!

As you know, we have been talking about moving.  Update....our house is on the market!  We've been talking and praying and making "pro's and con's" lists.  And the conclusion we've come to is that if God's plan is for us to move, the house will sell.  We've handed it over to Him.  It's in His hands.  I have peace with His will.  If the house sells, we'll go.  If it doesn't, we'll stay. 

I did confirm that Troy and Kyrsten will most likely be able to attend the school district that I prefer for middle and high school, even if we don't live in the district.  See, in our State, we have a right to school choice.  The kids can go to any district we desire as long as we can provide the transportation (outside of our home district) AND the district that you are trying to enter can't be filled to capacity with in-district students.  That's been the catch all along...the school that I want my kids to attend is full and they don't allow "school choice" applications, NORMALLY.  Sometimes it IS about WHO you know (wink,wink).

My only other concern was that if we managed to get the kids into the middle/high school of my choice, would they constantly be at risk of losing their spots to home school students.  I received confirmation that once they are in, they are in.  Once Troy is in, Kyrsten is in.  Unless they had HUGE behavior issues, they can be educated from 6th through 12th grade, even if we continue to live outside of the district.  WAHOO!

So the paperwork to list our home was signed on Thursday night.  The sign was put in the yard and the lockbox on the door on Friday. It's suppose to hit the MLS today.  And I have to keep this place in a constant state of organization from here on out.  Please pray for me, for us!

Speaking of, I need to go vacuum and make my bed.  Here's a few pictures!  And in case any of you noticed the date, this time last year we were in China, flying to Nanning, preparing out hearts to pick up our girl the next day.  Can you believe it's been a year???

 

Please excuse the fingerprint seen on several of these pics.  Nothing is safe from Alayna in this house. 

The last two pics show how Alayna lined her new backpack up with Troy and Kyrsten's by the front door.  Too Sweet!

Who's out there??

So, I was thinking!  Dangerous, but true.

It seems that I still have a few followers.  Atleast that's what my "stat meter" tells me.  And I'd love to know who you are!  I've got my loyal girls...Mom, Tracy, Tricia, Pam, Andrea and Jan.  But I'm thinking that there must be a few more of you.

Come on out of lurking and tell me a little something about yourself, would ya?!  And I'll make it easy for you.  I'll tell ya what to tell me.

Here's the thing...Alayna is sick!  She's got bilateral ear infections and pneumonia.  We are were all invited to a sweet 16 party tonight at an awesome location with some really amazing friends.  It's going to be a blast...and Alayna and I aren't going.  Troy and David are already there, riding 4wheelers with friends.  Kyrsten is hitchin' a ride with a friend.  And I'm trying not to feel left out by planning a little treat for myself.

Dinner.  Anything.  As long as it can be delivered or picked up at a drive-thru.  My girl is spending the day in her PJ's, unbathed and full of boogies, so I don't think I should take her out in public :)

So what do I want?  I can't decide!  I think a cheesesteak from Pizza King might be calling me but I'd have to take her in to pick it up.  Wait...maybe I could pick it up before I drop Kyrsten off at her friends...allowing me to leave both of them in the car while I run in really quick for a pick up.  Wait...is that against the law?  Just in case...Don't tell anyone I just said that!

I digress.  My question...and incentive for you to come out of the closet.  What would you eat or do if you didn't have to make dinner for the family, only needed to worry about your own palate, and wanted a little treat?  Dessert for dinner?  Steak?  Breakfast food?  Taco Bell?  Tell me...what would you eat if you were in my shoes tonight??

 

Because God called us too!

I found this on Youtube.  It's a little long but worth the time, especially if you have a heart for orphans!

Work Boots!!!

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!

Who would have thought that the simple act of hanging the khaki's back up in the closet and busting out the work boots would bring so much joy to our home??!!

Praise God...David has work this week and the next week and the next week....!  Not 60 some dollar a day work substituting at a high school.  Oh no!  Work that requires hard labor, muscles and sweat, and brings home a paycheck big enough to pay the bills AND go out to dinner!

Wahoo!  We trusted Him, we held on, we prayed...and the drought might just be coming to an end...atleast for a while!!

Father~Daughter Dance

 

Last night, Kyrsten and David attended the annual Father Daughter Ball at our church.  This year everyone was encouraged to wear semi-formal to formal wear.  Kyrsten was blessed to have the dress that she wore in my cousin's wedding. (What a relief that we didn't have to go out and buy her a new dress!)  Unfortunately, neither Kyrsten or David tried on their attire before getting ready for the Ball last night.  Kyrsten has evidently grown since September so her dress was very snug at the top and David's suit no longer fits him.  Even though David had to wear khaki's to the Ball,  I think they both looked really nice and they had a great time.  In two years, David will be able to take both of his girls to the dance, though Alayna was ready to go this year.

     

To Move or Not To Move

I remember when I turned 35.  It was a pretty uneventful birthday, atleast when it came to my emotions.  I had been warned about how I might feel upon reaching that big milestone but I truly felt unfazed.  I didn't feel older.  I didn't look older.  I didn't act older.  And I had just found out that I was "expecting" my third child.  I was feeling youthful and unwrinkled.

A year has passed, I have celebrated my 36th birthday and this birthday left me feeling a little different.  I can't really put my finger on what's been going on with my body and my mind, but my thoughts have been all over the place and I'm feeling kind of restless.

When I get like this I could probably be diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder.  Lately, all I can think about is whether we should move two towns over so that my kids can go to a better middle and high school and significantly cut down on my commute to work.  I'm also crazy with thoughts about whether we should adopt another child.  I've been driving myself nuts with research and reading related to both decisions.  The crazy thing is that I recognize how much I need to SHUT UP and listen but I still haven't done it.  If I don't quiet my mind and my mouth so that God can get a word in, I'll never hear His guidance.  Poor guy...I'm too busy thinking and talking to listen to a word He has to say!

This is where I struggle...waiting and trusting.  I get too impatient and fail time and time again when waiting for Him to give me direction.  It's as if I forget that I can trust Him.  Certainly I know that I can, yet my actions say just the opposite. 

So I feel like my 36th year is beginning with some big thoughts and some even bigger decisions.  Do we put our house on the market and move?  Do we move to adopt another child?  I don't know yet.  But I do know that I've got to get quiet, settle down, and trust Him with my life.  It's not my time and it's not my plan.  If only I could remember that!

Father, please give me wisdom to make the right choices for my family and myself.  Let everything we do be pleasing in Your sight.  "I will not set anything godless before my eyes." Psalm 101:3

Orphans of God